plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue
I think if a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all they’d have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit I’m gonna go see why it isn’t working
“I was born in the wrong generation!” I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin
do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how
my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life
if you seriously think that I would stay up watching tv shows until 4am you would be 100% correct
- Me: oh thats cute
- *checks price tag*
- Me: no its not
me: *sigh* i wish i lived in the 50s
suddenly i am thrust 60s years before 2013 into 1953 and watch as my rights practically slip right out of my hands and i am forced to live in an even more war-obsessed, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist society
but at least i have bettie page bangs and a poodle skirt
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
drawing is fun until you realize how much better other people are at it than u
i was thinking earlier “why isn’t there an adult version of an easy bake oven” but then i realized
it’s just an oven
Reasons to date me:
- Standing next to me will most likely make you look gorgeous.
- Nobody will try to take me from you.
- I have no upper body strength so if you want to wrestle, you’ll always win.
- You’ll get a good laugh out of my extraordinary clumsiness
- If you happen to live on the country side, I’d make an excellent scarecrow.
- I can almost, kinda-sorta make food.
i hate it when i say i hate everyone and then someones like ‘oh except me lol’ ha ha no not except you now you made it to the top of the list well done